bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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