Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
