I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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