his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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