drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
