I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
