This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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