I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
