Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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