Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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