You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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