so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
