never play flip cup with pint glasses
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
