So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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