You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
