we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
