i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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