Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
