This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
