We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
