I must be too annoying 4 u.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
