why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
