I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
