I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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