you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
