where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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