It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
