Pregnant stripper...not hot.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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