Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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