All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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