hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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