how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
