I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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