What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
