Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
