ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize