Where are you?
In a non slutty way
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
