is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
