why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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