I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
