i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
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Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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