I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
