he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
