That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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