No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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