We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
