Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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