I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
