who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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