you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
